Unreliably Narrated Monologues

Style Model
I can’t believe that cop! Arresting my baby just like that in front of his own home! Doesn't he know that that boy is my son? My son! And the stuff they've accused him of… well, it’s just ridiculous. How could they say that he stole that man’s car and then led the police on a chase down Lake Shore Drive? My baby’s only 14.  He doesn't know how to drive! And he’s the most angelic boy, not like my sister’s child who talks back with a mouth worse than a sailor. No, sir, my boy, he’s respectful. Why, just last week when he was leaving the house after dinner, I reminded him that he needed to take out the garbage (because he’s always forgetting things like that). And he did it, no grumbling, no eye rolling, he just did it like the sweet boy he is. And he’s always been like that, like looking after me when my feet were acting up and I could barely walk. He was always ready to fetch me some water from the kitchen when he was around and not out with his friends. So sweet, telling me that he loves me, that he couldn't have any better momma in the world. My baby’s no criminal!

My Piece
How dare you! The nerve of you! How could you let her gallivant off to Oxford for University! Do you have no clue at how stupid that girl is? I don't care if she's your daughter by "blood". She's rightfully mine, do you hear me? How is she creative? All she ever does is doodles in her books, scribbles of chick scratch in her notepads, graffiti-ed her bedroom wall. Who would call her an "artist"? If she was good at anything I'm guessing it's sport, at least some form of physical activity because she showed me she can fit through the gaps in the fence. And another thing, if she was so bright she would remember to buy food to fill up the fridge, I may be her mother but she needs to grow up and learn to do it herself, especially if I'm not around. She won't survive in that place is she can never clean the house, get the food, find her way home if I forget to tell her I'm not going to be able to do it. All of her friends tell me she has an eating disorder but I told them she looks fine but I would never tell them that I honestly think she looks a little chubby. We may have a difficult relationship and argue all the time and she may call me a terrible mother and sometimes I don't see her for days but believe me when I say this... she loves me, not you. I know her, genetics don't mean a thing.